Did the Earth Move for You?

A draft constitution that "enshrines" the principles and values of Britain's National Health Service (NHS) was published today for consultation by Alan Johnson, the UK's Secretary of State.

According to the NHS release:

“The first of its kind in the world, the Constitution follows extensive discussions with staff, patients and the public over the last year. It reaffirms the rights to NHS services, free of charge without discrimination of any kind. For the first time, it will bring together in one place and clarify for staff and patients their rights and responsibilities to ensure the NHS operates fairly and effectively.”

The draft Constitution can be found at www.dh.gov.uk/consultations

The Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry describes the document as,

"measures that offer the opportunity to effect a seismic change in patients' right to access the best and most modern medicines based on clinical need."

Others disagree.

Antoine Clark, international editor of Pharma Marketletter, commented,

"Seismic? I don't feel the Earth move!"

Here’s his read on what “free of charge without discrimination of any kind” means in NHS parlance:

Health care except in the case of:

1) week-ends and Mondays;

2) smokers;

3) drinkers;

4) fat people;

5) grumpy old people;

6) people living in the wrong post code;

7) people living in England;

8) people who don't know how to make a noise and kick up a fuss;

9) people who require the latest medical care;

10) people who want to have dental care;

11) foreigners (except when it is politically inconvenient to deny them or they vote Labour; and

12) people who have the nerve to pay extra for private care, as in "Please Sir, can I have some more?